literal leigh 05.7 - mission impawsible Read online

  Table of Contents

  Books by Melanie James

  Copyright

  Back Blurb

  Edition License Note

  Acknowledgements

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  About The Author

  Back Blurb

  Everything happens for a reason, even if it’s caused by incompetence.

  What happens when you take one very powerful wand, crack open an ancient spell book and mix thoroughly with a pair of inexperienced witches? For Kelly and Randy it’s a spell gone wild. With no idea what sort of magical mayhem they’ve created, they have to choose between waiting for the Witches Union to hunt them down or take their chances with a life on the run. But there is another choice, to figure out the spell and try to undo it before it’s too late.

  When Kelly learns her spell has direct consequences on her were-bear boyfriend, she has no choice but to gather up the witches of Karma, Inc for a new adventure. The gang will take on a new cast of troublemakers in paranormal-infested Caldron Falls. It’s up to Kelly to see if she has what it takes to lead her crew of witchy buffoons on a Mission Impawsible to save her were-bear.

  Books by Melanie James

  Literal Leigh Romance Diaries

  Accidental Leigh

  Serious Leigh

  Hopeful Leigh

  Haunting Leigh

  Joyful Leigh

  Literal Leigh Romance Diaries: Complete Boxed Set

  Literal Leigh Marriage Diaries

  Disastrous Leigh

  Literal Leigh Spin-offs

  Gertie’s Paranormal Plantation

  Karma Inc.

  Mission Impawsible: A Karma Inc. Novella

  Éveiller Drive

  Ava & Will

  Kara & Dave

  Laura & Alan

  Jamie & Brad

  Ashley & Jeff

  Valerie & Greg

  Éveiller Drive Boxed Set

  Stand Alones

  Conjuring Darkness

  A Valentine’s Surprise

  A Deadly Obsession

  Snowflakes, Exes & Ohs

  Fur Ever Yours

  Copyright

  Mission Impawsible

  By: Melanie James

  Copyright © 2015 by Melanie James

  Editing: AVC Proofreading

  Proofreading: AVC Proofreading

  Proofreading: Book Nook Nuts

  Cover Artist: Dreams to Media

  ISBN-13: 978-1519231703

  ISBN-10: 1519231709

  All rights reserved

  Published in the United States of America

  Edition License Notes

  This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you wish to share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should delete it from your device and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work. Illegal copies come with fine up to $250,000.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is coincidental.

  Acknowledgements

  Rebecca — Your covers continually amaze me.

  Hollie — Eeeep! Here’s another one for you.

  Alicia — Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

  Tammy — Thank you for always being in my corner.

  Monkeys — I love you!

  Ron — You are my life

  Dedication

  To my readers:

  For all of your impossible missions in life. Have fun, make the best of it! AND don’t forget to laugh!

  Prologue

  We’ve all had one of those deep conversations where we’ve done a poor job articulating a great topic to the wrong audience. For my case in point, it was a discussion I had with my friend, Gertie, a few weeks ago.

  “Gertie, do you ever feel like you’re searching for a place? I don’t exactly mean a physical place, but I suppose it could be. Maybe it’s just a mindset. Anyway, it’s where you would not only feel comfortable, but truly in your element. You just feel drawn to something, but not quite sure what it is, only that it’s where you need to be. A place where you’ll find your strength.”

  “Now you sound just like that woman I met last year, over in Biloxi. She tried to sell me a timeshare, whatever that is. I have no idea. Are you getting into the timesharing business, Kelly? By the way, can you share time? Can you even make time?”

  “No. Not at all. I’m talking about philosophy, not vacation property. Anyway, the Spanish have a word for what I’m talking about—querencia. It’s a concept, a place where everything fits together. It all makes sense, and no matter what life throws your way, you can handle it without batting an eye. In Death in the Afternoon, Hemingway uses bullfighting to explain the metaphysical concept of querencia. The bull, in time, develops a sense of where and what his querencia is. If the bull finds his querencia in the ring, he becomes impossible to defeat.”

  It was my fault, really. I’m an English teacher, and I habitually fall back on literature during my philosophical ramblings. My audience, Gertie, only heard “bullfighting.” She blew a gasket.

  “That cruel Hemingway! Bastard! Bullfighting? It’s called murder, Kelly. Plain and simple. Don’t listen to those murdering bastards. You don’t need to kill a bull to find your strength. All you have to do is just tell yourself four words. I CAN DO THIS. That’s it. No more, no less. None of that fancy querencia timeshare stuff. Don’t go analyzing it. And never, ever, go bullfighting.”

  So, that’s how the conversation went. Later, I realized Gertie was absolutely right. I didn’t need to find anything. I just had to convince myself of those four words.

  Chapter One

  Randy poured a cup of coffee and brought it over to where I sat. “Here you go, sis. I don’t know why you insist on staying in this bland, empty condo.” His head swiveled back and forth, closing his eyes like he wanted to forget what he saw.

  Clearly, my brother had mood poisoning when it came to my current living conditions. Unfortunately, he droned on, voicing his concerns.

  “And it’s so… spartan in here. Yuck. It’s so blah… and so unlike you. Would it kill you to have a few decorations? Maybe a picture on the bare walls? Something?”

  I shrugged. It really didn’t matter to me. With my current state of mind, decorating a place I had no desire to stay in was the last thing on my agenda.

  “You know, with your share of the first quarter earnings from Karma Inc., you could really step into the high end of the housing market. And I could… no, I will be your interior designer. I would’ve picked up a few things for you, but Gertie and I have already blown our shares on our Paranormal Bed and Breakfast project.”

  “I’ve considered moving, but most of mine and Ezzy’s money is going toward restarting the Karma Inc. Reality TV show. Even if it wasn’t, I don’t know what I would do. I used to know what I wanted. Well, kind of. I was happy being the modern, independent, single, newbie witch. Taking numbers, crushing hearts. It was my thing. Now, not so much
. My goals are all outta whack. I guess I’m just waiting to see how things play out in the near future. Who knows? Ever since… ”

  “Ah ha! Ever since that hunk of a werebear got his paws on you! Am I right?”

  I hesitated, giving my brother the perfect opening. Damn. “Right. Meeting Gabe, falling for him, was so unexpected. So perfect. Until September rolled around. Now I’m back here, teaching. Yippee!” My sarcasm was not lost on Randy.

  “I’m stuck in Chicago and he’s up north in the woods. I’m barely surviving traffic and teaching English to kids who are more interested in texting than learning the mechanics of grammar. Gabe’s catching poachers and being all sorts of super masculine at his log cabin. I bet, right now, he’s chopping firewood and whatever.”

  A nearly X-rated video of a shirtless, sweaty Gabe played in my mind. His muscles flexed under glistening coppery skin as he lifted an axe above his head. The axe came down in a powerful and very satisfying stroke. I could actually feel the axe finding its mark. The strike caused something inside me to twitch with excitement, like an electric shock.

  “Hello? Kelly? You’re drooling. Are you all right?”

  “Uh… yeah. I’m fine.”

  “Ha! I see what’s going on here. You’re fantasizing about Gabe. You are such a little pervert. Seriously, sis, he was a summer fling. Don’t get your panties in a bunch. Go over to the LL Bean store and pick up one of those lumbersexuals. I’m sure you can find a short-term substitute for Gabe. It’ll help you to get over him.”

  “What? Wait a second. First of all, I never said I wanted to get over him. Secondly, that’s the dumbest advice I’ve heard from you. And that says a lot.”

  Randy didn’t even have a comeback because he knew he hit a nerve. I’ve never once had even the slightest bit of desire to “get over him,” as Randy’s unsolicited and poorly thought-out advice suggested. In fact, I secretly hoped for much more of a future with Gabe than I let on. Since I came home, Gabe and I talked on the phone nearly every day. And as each day passed, I began to dream about the possibility of a happy ending.

  For now, it was time to change the subject. Halloween was only a week away, and it made the perfect topic.

  “Randy, what are your memories of Halloween when we were kids? All of mine are tinted with orange and black. I always remember making construction paper jack-o-lanterns with too much glue and those goofy legs our teacher made us put on them.”

  “Yeah. I remember making those. Legs and arms made with black paper, folded accordion style. Wasn’t that stupid? I used to wonder why. I mean, jack-o-lanterns do not have legs and arms. They just don’t.”

  “Stupid? Maybe. Guess what? I force my students to make those. Every damn one of them. I love it.”

  “You would. Torturer. When I remember Halloween, I recall trick-or-treating around our block. You were always a witch. I was always a vampire. We’d run everywhere. Plastic pumpkins full of candy and swinging by our sides. And remember, there was always that one house… the one where they pretended not to be home, but we always saw someone peeking from behind a curtain?”

  “How could I forget? One year, I stood in the driveway and waved a little plastic wand at the house, like I was hexing them. Little did I know, one day I might actually cast a spell. For real.”

  “I have an idea. Maybe we should dress up and take the nieces and nephews around the block this year. Maybe throw some real magic around. Wouldn’t that be something? It’d give the kids something to brag about. We’d be the coolest auntie and uncle of all time.”

  “No freaking way, Randy. The problem is the witchcraft itself. I’m not good enough. You’re not good enough. Forget it, buddy. I’d like to hone my skills first before I start doing drive-by spells, with a pack of little trick-or-treaters tagging along. I have no desire to go back to that damn Witches Court.”

  “Pffft. You know what the problem is? We’re not taking any risks. We should be cracking open the old grimoire we found, trying a few spells. Practicing, like we all said we would do, with our Spell Club meetings. Or am I the only one committed to perfecting our craft? Can we at least give it a shot before we say no to adding a real wow factor to this year’s Halloween?”

  “There’s no doubt trick-or-treating in the ‘burbs has been dead on its ass the last few years. I’ll agree to only looking through the spell book. That’s all I can promise, for now.”

  So, that’s how everything started. That one conversation, with my visiting brother, was the catalyst for one very interesting Halloween experience. It makes for a pretty good Halloween story, too.

  Chapter Two

  Randy followed me as I made my way to the bedroom. My cat, Gemma, meowed when I warily approached the antique cedar chest at the foot of my bed. It seemed to be a very cautionary meow.

  “What? Is it booby-trapped?” Randy took a step back.

  “No. I’m always afraid I’m going to open it and see something totally frightening.” Once I had the chest opened, I was relieved to see the black wand Ezzy gave me and my mini-broom resting harmlessly on the ancient spell book. It was safe and sound.

  The other items in my cedar chest, the things I didn’t think he would notice, caught Randy’s attention. “Geez, Kel, are you trying to scar me for life? I don’t need to know that my sister is solely responsible for keeping the Energizer Bunny employed!”

  “Seriously? You’re standing in my bedroom, complaining about the items I keep hidden in a chest? Besides, your toy collection is probably ten times bigger than mine, so don’t you dare act like Gertie. I may believe her innocence, but not yours. I don’t think you’ve ever been innocent.”

  I plucked the magic items gingerly from the chest, like they were fragile antiques of rare blown glass, and set them on the bed. My fingers danced across the cover of the grimoire before I slowly opened the cover. Each turn of the stiff parchment pages made a crinkling sound. It seemed so old and delicate. Beautiful artwork and script adorned the pages. Unfortunately, most of it was in Latin. Still, there were enough in French and Old English to keep us busy.

  “Kelly, we should take a look at some of these Latin spells. I bet we can figure them out.”

  “Hold on there, Eager McBeaver. I might know a little Latin, but not enough to translate ancient spells.”

  “Do like Gertie does. If she doesn’t know all of it, she just takes her best guess.”

  “Are you nuts? That’s hardly the technique I was going for. No wonder Gertie’s had so many accidents.”

  “All right, nix the Latin spells. What about the French ones?”

  “Sure. I know enough French to read it.” I stopped when I came to the first French spell. “We really should have Esmeralda here with us. She knows what she’s doing. You should see her with a spell book and a wand. She can tap the page like this.” I touched the page with the tip of the wand. “Then she does something so when she twirls her wand, it looks like there’s a swarm of fireflies circling around the tip. It’s weird. It almost looks like she is lifting them from the page. Then she flicks her wrist. The glowing dots scatter, sort of flickering away. That’s how she casts a spell from a book.”

  “Holy Shit! You mean like that?” The color ran from Randy’s face. He pointed a shaky finger at my wand, like he was pointing out the fact that a king cobra was about to strike my hand.

  If my eyes could’ve opened any wider, my eyebrows would’ve been on top of my head. “Oh no. No! No, no, no. Oh shit. Please tell me those little fireflies aren’t real. We’re imagining this, right?”

  My stomach cramped up at the sight. At the tip of my wand, tiny glowing lights circled around, forming a swirling ball. It was just like the kind Ezzy created. “I didn’t mean to! I just tapped a random page. I don’t even know what kind of spell it is!”

  “Exactly, it could be anything. You’ve got to put it back! Hit the page again. Just put it back.”

  I reacted by giving the parchment a smack with the wand. The dazzling ball of firefly-like pa
rticles smashed into the page and exploded in a violent burst. I’m not sure what we expected to happen, but needless to say, both of us ran from the room. I cuffed Randy on the back of his head. “See? That’s exactly why I don’t screw around with this stuff without supervision.”

  “Kelly! I can’t believe you did that. You shouldn’t be so careless, waving your wand around, sticking it where it doesn’t belong.”

  “Look who’s talking.”

  “So, now what? Do you think you managed to put the spell back?”

  We crept back into the room and looked at the book. I stared at Randy for a few seconds before I answered. I really didn’t know what happened. “I have no idea.” The pages were charred beyond recognition. In fact, the entire grimoire was ruined. Not one single, legible word remained. Then it hit me.

  My back slumped against the wall. “Ugh.” Fright took the strength out of my legs, and I wobbled down to the floor, like a newborn calf that hasn’t figured out how to use its legs. I sat there, wallowing in the pool of despair rising up around my curled frame.

  “We could have done something… something incredibly bad. I mean the really, totally, incredibly, now-we’re-completely-screwed, kind of bad.”

  “We? Hold on, Kelly. There’s no ‘we’ about it, unless you’ve got a mouse in your pocket.”

  “Uh, I mean ‘we’, as in me and your dumb ass. Don’t try to act like you didn’t have a part in this mess. You talked me into it and that’s enough to be involved. Listen, if the Witches Union comes down on us, they aren’t going to care who was holding the frickin’ wand. We’re both going down.”

  My heart pounded. “Repercussions from a stupid mistake like this are guaranteed. We could’ve created a monster! Or started a nuclear war! Better say your goodbyes, brother. We’re going to have to go into hiding, if it’s even possible.”

  “That’s ridiculous. How do you know? Maybe the spell went right back in the book. You splattered it all over the pages. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Randy’s index fingers massaged his temples until an idea popped into his head. “Hey! What are we thinking? Just call Esmeralda. She’ll fix it.”